Don't Taunt The Hump - Week 11

Thursday, November 17, 2005 | Jeff

On the subject of taunting humps, if you haven't heard the nine minute rap song made by some players from The U a few years back, go here http://media.putfile.com/7th-Floor-Crew and take a listen. Don't be at work when you do it, however, for two reasons:

1. There are many references to "slinging dicks"
2. You'll laugh a lot and very, very loud.

Well I taunted the hump last week and went 5-9 and am now confronted with the hump. 67-60-2 on the season. On to the games (note: There is no selection for the Steelers and Ravens, as no line has been set.)

CHICAGO +3 OVER CAROLINA
A note on the Olin Kreutz/Fred Miller fight: I like it. I don't want my lineman to have children and spend evenings with their wives. I want them to be vicious men that I'd never want to fuck with. And I'm resting confidently knowing that if you fuck with my center, he'll break your face with a punch. As for the game, I think it's coming down to a field goal late so I'll sit with the points but we'll know a lot about the Chicago Bears by 4:00 pm Sunday.

TAMPA BAY +6 OVER ATLANTA
I just think this is too many points, no matter where the game is played. Chris Simms should be confident coming off a solid performance against Washington a week ago and if this team can sustain something of a running game early, they might be able to pull the upset. Remember Monte Kiffen has been more successful against Vick as a coordinator than other coach in football and I expect he'll have him figured out.

MIAMI +2.5 OVER CLEVELAND
Miami's defense is good enough to keep this very close and their running game should be fresh enough late to win this on the road. I'll take the Dolphins with the upset.

DALLAS -6 OVER DETROIT
I tend to never pick other teams from the NFC North but I just can't see Joey Harrington holding up against this Cowobys defense. Let's call this the battle of the Roy Williams twins, both coming off the defining games of their young, professional careers. I like Roy the safety's supporting cast just a lot more.

NEW YORK JETS +13 OVER DENVER
I got burned by taking both the large spreads last week and I'm slightly reversing course this week. Don't be fooled by the big score last, the Jets were in that game with Carolina heading into the 4th quarter. Herm and Donnie will bottle the run enough to keep it close enough.

INDIANAPOLIS -5.5 OVER CINCINNATI
I see fourth quarter, game tied at 27. Peyton has the ball and brings it all the way down the field for a game-winning touchdown. 34-27 Colts.

JACKSONVILLE -4 OVER TENNESSEE
I see a lot of analysts picking Tennessee to upset Jacksonville this week and I'm just not convinced the Titans have anywhere near the offensive firepower to put points up.

HOUSTON +6.5 OVER KANSAS CITY
Demoralizing loss for Kansas City last and a bit of offensive momemtum gained by the Texans against the Colts. this is going to be the best game David Carr plays all season.

NEW ORLEANS +9.5 OVER NEW ENGLAND
I've sat and thought about this game and I'm just not sure why the Pats are almost double-digit favorites at this stage. They lost two more players for the season and I think the Saints will be able to score and score often on Sunday. Then again, they are the Saints.

PHILADELPHIA +7.5 OVER NEW YORK GIANTS
I just don't like the point spread though there's no reason for the Giants to lose this game. This Eagles defense is still terrific and they're about as well-coached a unit as you're ever going to see. Eli struggles when under pressure and he'll be under a ton come Sunday. A loss in this one might just send the Giants spiraling.

BUFFALO +10.5 SAN DIEGO
I like the underdogs this week and this line is too big for a team that can't close out anyone. San Diego can have a three touchdown lead with 5 minutes to go and somehow they'll need a Nae Kaeding kick with seventeen seconds left to win.

ST. LOUIS -9.5 OVER ARIZONA
I have this theory about the Rams. They always beat these pointless teams like the Cardinals just to put the slightest bit of pressure on the Seattle Seahawks, in hopes that they'll Seahawk their season and lose when they shouldn't. On that note...

SAN FRANCISCO +12.5 OVER SEATTLE
I don't have a single discernible fact that leads me to the conclusion that San Fran is going to play hard and be in this game. I don't trust Seattle and I haven't for three seasons. I think they'll win but I wouldn't be shocked if the Niners are playing a meaningful 4th quarter.

OAKLAND +6 OVER WASHINGTON
Are you buying Washington? They've won 1 of their last 5 games. This has all the makings of a Kerry Collins diaster game but just when you think he'll fold like a poker table, he throws for 300 and 3 touchdowns. Plus, I lost a lot of respect for that Redskins defense last week. You can't let Chris Simms do that to you.

GREEN BAY -3.5 OVER MINNESOTA
It'd be nice for the Bears to see Minnesota and Detroit lose, thus even a loss would keep them two games up in first place. I am not picking against Favre on a Monday night but I'm watching the game with the television on mute.