Hello all zero readers of this!
Jeff & Dave here to present a live analysis of the NFL Draft.
JEFF: I am going out on a limb here and saying the Houston Texans take Mario Williams. I think teams lose fourteen games for a reason and Houston has established a firm reason for the next five years. I don't understand the pick, I don't like the pick and I feel sorry for Texans fans who have been denied a true star.
THE TEXANS ARE NOW ON THE CLOCK. Why don't they just make the fucking pick? Fucking assholes.
DAVE: That was a stupid pick, but not as stupid as ESPN'S Matrix meets Sprokets intro to the draft. If this is how they kickoff their 17 hour coverage what the fuck are they going to throw at us in hour 10?
I said the Saints would trade down, the Jets would take Bush and regret it. I was wrong. With pick three I said Leinart cause Jeff said Young, and I was wrong. Not happy. With the fourth I say Matt Leinart cause the Jets love weak armed, "smart" quarterbacks. (In reality I say Ferguson.)
Other notes from the first three picks: Jeff loves watching golf, this apartment smells, taking a Natty Lite shot once a minute is great, and Lou sucks.
JEFF: Grand slam golf is athletic poetry. And The Brick has to go to the Jets here.
JEFF: Dave is gay.
DAVE: My sexuality is not in question here. I have finally gotten a pick right so i can stop taking shots. Packers take AJ Hawk. Jeffs prediction: Pope. Jeff wants to drink. Devoting 15 minutes of my life to waiting on the Packers makes me want to drink. Devoting 15 minutes to the Packers while smelling Jeff's stench? Makes me want to drink bleach.
Group consensus: The Click-Clack commercial: worse than Lou looks when he stumbled into the living room.
LOU (special to dabearsblog): Dave is a worthless moron.
JEFF: This draft is boring the shit out of me. When do the Bears pick?
DAVE: The last time the Bears drafted this late we took Marc Columbo. Brilliant late 1st round pick. You have no idea how difficult it was for Jeff and I to find that information.
Jeff yells at me for writing to much. Jeff can fuck himself.
LOU: Old School Noah beating on Dave
DAVE: ended when i punched jeff in the mouth
LOU: Old school Noah never fought back. He was just fat.
JEFF: "What do you want, my phone number?" - Lou (calling Dominos) Jay Cutler is going to the Rams. Call Vegas. Bet the house and your mother's virginity.
JEFF: Good shit there by the Broncos, getting a good QB and getting into the early draft. They seem to always be willing to make the right moves. Jerry Angelo, you guessed it, is gay.
DAVE: Pick 13: apathetic
JEFF: Tye Hill went too soon He sucks
Dave: Re: Coors lite commercial: "Whats with the magical train that freezes people?"
Pick 14: Jackson is the consensus. Jeff says Buckley. Still awake only because of the timely arrival of Dominos
Dave: This game sucks so does the draft
JEFF: Minnesota takes Gopher and Doc.
LOU: JUST TAKE CHAD JACKSON, PLEASE!!!
JEFF: winston justice, maybe...i dont care....i dont wanna drik anymore
DAVE: So much pain.
JEFF: Bobby Carpenter? Did not see that coming.
DAVE: Phil Rivers wil suck real bad this year. Jeff cant breathe. Lou is still waiting for Jackson to be picked.
Dave: Bucs on the board, getting close to the Bears pick. Lot of talent on the board that wasnt expected. A lot more choice than expected. Chad Jackson, Jimmy Williams, Moss. Tension mounts.
DAVE: Ive never smoked a cig in my life.
LOU: Want to? I feel we dont have enough alone time.
DAVE: ....
DAVE: With the 26th pick in the 2006 NFL Draft the Chicago Bears select...the ULTIMATE WARRIOR.
After his pick the Warrior had this to say, " (Lovie) How do you want me to train? Do you want me to jump off a tall building? Do you want me to lay down on the grass and be run over by lawnmowers? Do you want to go to Africa and be trampled by RAGING elephants?"
Lovie: "Just beat up a nerd. We hate nerds."
JEFF: bears are two picks away with chad jackson and santonio holmes still on the board!!! we may add a good receiver immediately. i love it. grab fasano or klopenstenienienieien in the 2.
ONE TEAM LEFT TO GO!!!! TWO GOOD RECEIVERS ON THE BOARD!!! WITH JIMMY WILLIAMS AND ALL THE TIGHT ENDS!!! COULD BE A CHANCE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE FOR THE BEARS!!!! LOVE IT!
DAVE: Starting to panic a little. I never expected to have the WR options and so was firmly committed to a CB now because of the lack of impact rookie WR generally have and our need for a player who'll contribute this year. A Williams-Holmes pick will be really hard but its the kind of tough choice I never expected.
Jeff's nerves have expressed themselves through excessive flatulence. We are 2:42 from being on the clock.
DAVE: FUCK THE STEELERS FUCK THE GIANTS. Everything is up in the air again and there goes the kick returner we needed. I wasnt sold on Santonio but I wouldve really liked to have him there for the Bears to consider.
10:54 and counting....
DAVE: Bears off the clock, Bills on. Trading down is a good call. With Santonio off the board there is nothing there that we cant get a few picks later and Angelo has always done a lot better with later rounds than he has with his first round picks. There will still be TE, CBs and a LB out there.
Bills traded up for that??? Dick Jauron is so shitty words fail me. Bears get a second and third rounder from the Bills. Could be pretty solid.
Misc quote: Lou to Jeff, "Im huming your face"
Jeff: "I invited you to hump my face"
We might not be able to speak by the Bears first pick
DAVE: Into Round 2 and a ridiculous Berman tribute to Tagliabue that ended with Berman saying he played a vital role in healing America after Sept 11, and then suggesting he might in fact be female.
Momentum is plummeting. Its now a battle of survival until the Bears' pick, though judging by the drops in the quality of ESPN's coverage by the time the Bears pick it will be announced on the news ticker during another of those damn Click-Clack commercials.
DAVE: Six picks into Round 2 and 6 hours into drinking and Jeff has become a belligerent, smelly, quasi homosexual disaster. Bears need to pick soon.
DAVE: Packers trade Walker to Denver for the 37th pick and then trade the pick to Atlanta? For what? Atlanta finally takes Jimmy Williams off the board. Berman makes a brutally stupid Casablanca analogy. Disgust is growing. Bears 4 away.
JEFF: Bears pick Mean Gene Okerland with their first pick.
LOU: (Note from Dave: I have no idea how this conversation started) I measure it all the time. Its my cock!
JEFF: I jerk off 15 times a day I dont measure it.
DAVE: The Bears need to draft and draft now.
DAVE: Arguing Moss vs Pope. Jeff wants the kick returner, I want a TE both of us want a pick soon.
I hate Jaws. Really hate him.
And Winston Justice finally is off the board
Bears 2 away
5:50pm At just shy of 6 hours and 41 picks after the start of the draft the Bears are poised for their first pick.
THE FIRST PICK OF THE 2006 NFL DRAFT BY THE CHICAGO BEARS IS:
Danieal Manning??
WHAT THE FUCK? Pope is on the board and we take a D-2 DB? We waited 6 hours for this?
After extensive research we found a description of him that says "worth taking a risk on in the 4th round"
That inspires confidence. Another list puts him as the first cb to go in the third round a "solid day 2 choice".
Not happy
JEFF: I'M COOL WITH IT/ I LIKE WEIRD PIRCKS. I LOVE THE BEARS TOO. I THINK THEY NEED TO GET KLOPPOPENSTEIN OR FASANO OR POPE....THEY NEED IT......GET THOSE GUYS BECAUSE THEY ARE GOOD
DIVISION TWO IS GOOD.....DANIELLE IS GOING TO BE FINE. SHE CAN PLAY.
THE BEARS SUCK
DAVE: 7:30 beer, pizza, jeff's gas have all taken their toll but hopes are onthe rise as somehow Leonard Pope is still on the board.
The Bears have 6:22 to redeem their earlier pick and get the receiving tight end we need.
Jeff wants Pope, I want Pope. Who else could we take? 5:43 and counting...
DAVE: Thats not Pope. Sigh. Im leaving
JEFF: could be a good pick. devin hester returns kicks. we need a returner.
#2 max said . . .bills on clock? we traded?
April 29, 2006
#3 max said . . .who?
April 29, 2006
#4 max said . . .The titans have lendale white and vince young. . . we have another version of R.W. McQuarters . . . with less hype
April 29, 2006
#5 max said . . ."Scouts like the 5-foot-11, 202-pound player's speed (4.46 40-yard dash) and leaping ability (39-inch vertical jump)"
{A recent mock draft by ESPN draft expert Mel Kiper had Manning going with the last pick in the second round. Frank Coyle, the head scout and publisher of draftinsiders.com, said he thinks Manning will be one of the first 100 players drafted.
"He's a nice player," Coyle said. "He'll tackle and he's got the athleticism to cover. It may take a couple of years, but this kid can be a starter."}
April 29, 2006
#6 Anonymous said . . .FUCK
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#7 Mee said . . .da bears!
April 30, 2006
#8 MISANTHROPE said . . .i hate SCOUTS!...all they do is tell you what height how fast a guy can run to BE a good player! like to be a GOOD player you must be 5' 11'' thats so stupid!
April 30, 2006
#9 kookimebux said . . .God, worst draft in ages. Reminds me of the Wannstedt one when he took John Allred in the first round.
April 30, 2006
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Here at DaBearsBlog, you are free to kill us or the Bears as you so wish. You are not free, however, to be an asshole. So if you spew racism or ill-meaning foul language (cursing about football is just fine) or anything of that ilk, your comments ain't gonna last long, jerk.