World Cup First Go

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 | Jeff

ADDENDUM! ADDENDUM! ADDENDUM!
Germany is the real fucking deal with Ballack in the midfield. He didn't play his best game today but he helped solidify them defensively and they dominated the center of the field.

With the continued brilliant play of Klose up front, the stirring bench contribution of Odonkor on the right flank and the ability of Frings to score from thirty yards out...I think this team can score on anyone. A very impressive offensive performance that would look even better if not for Polish goalkeeping heroics and bad luck.

On to the post...
Right...so...right. Jeff is actually on holiday so this is Hugh Grant reporting on the 2006 World Cup. I'm going to, well, basically sort of peruse the first matches and look a bit...ahead to the next set...and give some, well, general perspective on the whole American football, er, soccer thing.

Your American squad rather shit the bed against those slimey Czech bastards, didn't you? Well anything less than a win against the Italians on Saturday will end the dream for the Yanks. But here's the whole layout. I'm writing this because Jeff would rather not have DaBearsBlog dedicated to salary disputes any further.

All of the following depend on an American victory at 2:30 pm...which is not likely.

CZECHS BEATS GHANA
This would eliminate Ghana and all but seal the deal for the Czechs. The Czechs would go into a third match with Italy only needing a draw.

CZECHS DRAW GHANA
This would make things very interesting. It would put the Czechs up a point on Italy and the US. This would mean that the US beating Ghana and an Italy/Czech draw would actually give the US the group. The Ghana/US match is played before Italy/Czech so the latter two teams might know that the winner advances coming into it and - in this case - a draw would almost inevitably move the Czechs on being their goal differential looks beautiful with a 3-0 win over the US.

Confused?

The five best performances (team) of the opening matches:

5. BRAZIL
People are getting on them but don't be surprised if that Croatia advances out of that group. They played a hell of a match and looked like they might have beaten any other squad that day. Unsung hero of the match: Dida at keeper. He made several very good saves to protect the result.

4. ITALY
I know nothing of the Ghana side other than they're one of those speedy, crafty African squads. Italy was never under duress and everything about aside, I think they're moving on to the next round.

3. NETHERLANDS
They took it back a gear in the second half, removing Ruud quite early. But Arjen Robben was - in my opinion - the most impressive performer of these initial matches as the Chelsea forward dominated the first half with an aggressive assault and a fantastic goal.

2. CZECH REPUBLIC
Was it the Czechs or the Americans? Nedved was brilliant and the Czechs smoked the US squad all over the field. They certainly made it seem like the FIFA #2 ranking is not a mistake.

1. SPAIN
Not for nothing but the Ukraine can't be that bad. Spain put on a show and they're going to walk through their group and - I think - into the semifinals.

HONORABLE MENTION:
ENGLAND - Lifeless and lucky to get the result against Paraguay.
PORTUGAL - Angola played well and I may be underrating them. I'd like to see how they perform against an attacking team and Iran may mount a challenge to them.
GERMANY - Costa Rica lost to a province before the cup so I'm not getting excited. They'll get past Poland but Ecuador will give them fits if they continue to be obsessed with the trap. Plus they're dirty krauts.

SOME COOL PLAYERS
Wanchope, Costa Rica
Heslop, Trinidad & Tobago
Cahill, Australia
Kaka, Brazil
Tenorio, Ecuador
Rosicky, Czech Republic

LOOKING AHEAD TO THE SECOND MATCHES
Thursday the 15th
Noon
England vs. Trinidad (Will Trinidad become Cinderella?)

Saturday the 17th
All Group E action (Will America wave bye bye to the World Cup?)

Sunday the 18th
11:30 am
Brazil vs. Australia (Aussie aussie aussie!!)

2:30 pm
France vs. South Korea (France is desperate for a win...or a fucking goal.)

Enjoy!!!!