The King of Prognostication returns after his triumphant .713 winning percentage a season ago against the spread. Knowing I’ll never do that again, I should just pull a Costanza…raise up my hands and exit the room.
I won’t. Today I prove how little I know about the NFL. I’ve had the Colts and Panthers in the Super Bowl for the last three years. As our dignified leader puts it, “Fool me twice…don’t get fooled again.� DON’T BOTHER PLAYING THE GAMES! I KNOW HOW IT’S COMING OUT!
NFC NORTH
The Bears are going 5-1 in division, 6-2 against the AFC East/NFC West and splitting the remaining two with Tampa and the Giants. That puts them at 12-4 and gives them a week off in the playoffs. That being said, they’ll probably go 8-8 and lose to the Packers twice.
Chicago Bears 12-4 (Bear down)
Detroit Lions 8-8 (Will be better in the second half)
Minnesota Vikings 7-9 (When did Culpepper to Moss become Johnson to Williamson?)
Green Bay Packers 1-15 (These asshole can’t lose enough for me)
NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys 10-6 (Tony Romo! Tony Romo!)
New York Giants 9-7 (Does Lavar Arrington mean anything to anyone anymore?)
Washington Redskins 9-7 (I miss Greg Blache’s press conferences)
Philadelphia Eagles 7-9 (They open the season with ten winnable games, however)
NFC SOUTH
Carolina Panthers 11-5 (A damn good team but inconsistent during the regular season)
Tampa Bay Bucs 10-6 (The least threatening double digit win team in the game)
Atlanta Falcons 7-9 (How many years does Vick get to learn the system?)
New Orleans Saints 6-10 (Watched that Spike Lee doc on Katrina. They can’t win enough for me.)
NFC WEST
Seattle Seahawks 12-4 (Best team in football outside of Chicago)
Arizona Cardinals 9-7 (Improvement abound when Leinart takes over)
St. Louis Rams 7-9 (The Rams have become boring, haven’t they?)
San Francisco 49ers 4-12 (Poop. Pure poop.)
Bye Weeks: Seattle, Chicago
Wild-Card Round: Dallas over Tampa Bay, Carolina over New York
Divisional Round: Seattle over Dallas, Chicago over Carolina
Championship Game: Seattle over Chicago
Ah…fuck it….
Championship Game: Chicago over Seattle
AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens 11-5 (I get a cowboys riding into the sunset vibe from this team)
Pittsburgh Steelers 10-6 (“Fast� Willie Parker is the lamest nickname ever)
Cincinnati Bengals 9-7 (They have a brutal schedule)
Cleveland Browns 5-11 (They have Lennie Friedman. That got them a bonus win)
AFC EAST
New England Patriots 11-5 (I think Bill Belly leaves U2’s With or Without You on Deion Branch’s voicemail every day)
Miami Dolphins 10-6 (Not buying the Super Bowl hype…yet)
Buffalo Bills 7-9 (Dick Jauron = Losing Record)
New York Jets 5-11 (Mangina)
AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis Colts 12-4 (Same old thing)
Jacksonville Jaguars 9-7 (These are the silliest fans in football. You have to see a game there. There was a family that chanted MOVE THE CHAINS after every first down and were wrapped, as a group, in giant plastic chains)
Houston Texans 7-9 (I think Gary Kubiak is going to be a great head coach)
Tennessee Titans 4-12 (Poor, poor Jeff Fisher. He needs to get the fuck out of there)
AFC WEST
Denver Broncos 12-4 (Javon Walker - 79 catches, 1,098 yards, 10 touchdowns)
Kansas City Chiefs 9-7 (Ty Law? That’s all you added?)
San Diego Chargers 8-8 (But ESPN will call them the best 8-8 team of all time)
Oakland Raiders 0-16 (You find me a team they can beat)
Bye Weeks: Indianapolis, Denver
Wild-Card Round: New England over Pittsburgh, Baltimore over Miami
Divisional Round: Baltimore over Indianapolis, Denver over New England
Championship Game: Baltimore over Denver
Super Bowl: Chicago Bears 5, Baltimore Ravens 2
There it is. Let me have it.
#2 jeff said . . .5-2? Add 10 points to the bears (Robbie is good for 2 field goals and either Briggs returns an INT for a touchdown or Rash takes a kickoff to the house) and give 7 to the Ravens cause Ed Reed or Ray Lewis will cause a turnover returned for a TD. 15-9. . . the interestin part of this game will come when Lewis trys to stab Kruetz on a blitz and Olin punches Lewis' facemask in.
August 31, 2006
#3 Reverenddave said . . .I love how Rash has become your guy.
August 31, 2006
#4 Max said . . .54 yrd punt return. 20 yard drive. Bears first offensive TD of the preseason. 11:34 left in the first
September 1, 2006
#5 Still trying to forget the John Shoop era said . . .Rex - 5/8 74 yards 1 TD.
He ain't off the hook yet. But at least its a sign of life.
September 1, 2006
#6 jeff said . . .I hope you enjoyed Desmond Clark production for the year in tonights game. He is one of those guys that is great "in theory".
Cut the next receiver that drops a pass, please. Since they all have hands of stone, that would leave none left and they could make a play for Branch. Or maybe the would take the great Rash D. in a trade. I'm just kidding. Rash is my guy too.
Anyone else worried about the depth at O-line? It seems like we have 3-4 potential D-line studs but after the starters on O it is a steep fall off.
Glad the preseason is over. Bring on the Pack!
September 1, 2006
We're not bad with o-line depth especially at tackle. In the current NFL, it's impossible to be deep anywhere and be under the salary cap.
Rex was good tonight and hopefully they'll carry the momentum over to Sept 10 at Lambeau.
September 1, 2006
Here at DaBearsBlog, you are free to kill us or the Bears as you so wish. You are not free, however, to be an asshole. So if you spew racism or ill-meaning foul language (cursing about football is just fine) or anything of that ilk, your comments ain't gonna last long, jerk.