The honeymoon was great. Reality was on hold, the ordinary stresses did not apply. You were getting morning hummers without asking, and the conversation was tolerable, mostly because there wasn't much to talk about. You started thinking that things were going so well that maybe they just might go perfectly forever. One morning, after eating the breakfast she brought to you in bed, you vaguely congratulate yourself on being attracted to such a wonderful thing. Then right at that moment, she looks up from her coffee and, apropos of nothing, asks, "Would you still love me if I got fat?"
The bubble is burst. The Bears shit the bed they'd spent a season and a half making. It's not the end of the world, but it's not something I particularly needed right now. I had certainly never expected that the Bears would go undefeated, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't fervently hoped it and believed they could do it. And when I browsed through the schedule and guessed at where a loss might come, I stopped pausing at the Miami Dolphins about a month ago.
Honestly, though, the Dolphins are not as bad as their 2-6 record. Did you nod in agreement with that? I hope not. The AARP Dolphins were openly mocking them. They have been terrible all year. Any team that improves by inserting Joey Harrington into the lineup deserves to be beaten like a teenager's pecker. Yet the Bears lost to them two weeks after they came within a gnat's nipple of saving Denny Green's job.
But, Christ, they're my team, so I'm going to have to simmer down at some point. "For better or for worse." I just wish I didn't even have to look for answers to the question of how they lost to the most underachieving team in the league. A loss to a real team would still hurt, but it wouldn't be so goddamn disorienting. Would we still love them if they got fat? What kind of a question is that? How about don't get fat, hmm?
You start to think back and wonder if you might have been the annoying couple who spent a little too much time together and used pet names in public. You feel a little sheepish, a little stupid. But just when you're at your most annoyed and embarrassed, something comes along that makes you feel a little better. Your neighbor across the street -- the one who's in the closet and always making snide comments about your taste -- well, somebody emailed you a video of his wife getting fucked by a horse.
His name is Dave.
#2 nick said . . .It don't matter motherfuckers. Talk all you want. One women getting fucked by a horse ain't as bad as 22 gueer Bears getting their assholes reamed out by a DOLPHIN.
And I heard he didn't stop there. I heard he was out in the parking lot with that old Hag Virginia McCaskey to.
Don't know if its true, but if it is, sounds like he came to town to party.
Oh well, don't say I didn't try to tell you all, but you dumb fuckers wouldn't listen.
Hell, this was such an easy game to pick. When I called in my bet they all thought I was crazy.
Not no more. It was good week-end. Dolphins and Colts paid big.
Thank you Bears.
November 6, 2006
#3 Dave said . . .DS... your craft is words.
Dave, go fuck your mom again.
November 6, 2006
#4 District Selectman said . . .Are we a little mad tonight??
Well then, since I'm a kind and gentle person, I'll leave you alone.
I see you all don't like it when people talk a little shit here.
You all handle it about as well as you handle your drink.
You are what I thought you were.
Losers.
DS-Maybe later, but right now I'm with your wife.
November 6, 2006
#5 jeff said . . .Forgot to mention that I'm not married. Thanks for the reminder, good buddy. I have no idea what a honeymoon is like.
November 6, 2006
#6 midway monster said . . .great post, DS. well done, i need to go back to being an asshole now....fuck the dolphins....fuck the bears...
long live DAVE
November 6, 2006
#7 Megan said . . .Okay, so we got an L. Its time to man-up and give credit where credit is due. The Fish won, we did't. That dang team derailed the last undefeated Bear team as well. Sometimes a tem just has your number. Take the medicine.
We can cry today, but come tomoorow morning, we're all back in the "e-gym" and "e-practice field". It'll be time to refocus, put this train back on the tracks. We all will study the playbook, lifts some weights- and set our sights on the one thing that gets rid of this feeling...
BEAT NEW YORK!
November 6, 2006
#8 dave said . . .I have an idea. Why don't Dave and whomever else come to this website deciding to act like a bunch of immature teenagers needing to get laid but they can't because all they do is go to blogger sites and try to piss everybody off because their teeny-weeny dicks won't come out from underneath their huge stomachs. I bet Dave hasn't seen his in years.
I'm done. I came to this blog becaue I have been bleeding Bear blue since I was born. I am a native Chicagoan who no longer lives there and coming here was my way of talking to other FANS of FOOTBALL who appreicate the game and yeah, Bears fans, too. But, fully-ripened-wino-dick-cheese-boy Dave, decides to ruin it for all fans of the game because he can't get it up.
I'm not mad at Dave because the Bears lost to the Dolphins. We had a hint of the Bears losing to a not-so-good-team when they played the Cards. There is still work to be done as far as gr0wth and consistancy. I just love watching the game, and I love watching the Bears win. Lovie is a good coach--far better then that pussy Wanstadt. (is that even how you spell that?)
I am mad at Dave because quite simply, he's an asshole. Can't put it any plainer then that. I wouldn't want Dave to misinterpret or not understand how I feel about him. He seems to have selective-sight, only seeing what he wants to see. By the way, are you a fan of anything? Or are you just generally pissed off everything?And why drag Virginia McCaskey into it? She has more class in her little finger then you could ever have in your whole life.
Good Luck to all of you. Thanks for the good times and good analysis of the games pre-Dave. From now on, I'm steering clear of this blog site
November 6, 2006
#9 Midway Monster said . . .fuck rex - he needs to go.
November 6, 2006
#10 Max said . . .Blog Owners:
Megan has a big point. How about a little respect & control (aka: editing)? I'd like things to stay on topic, share insights, and learn (rathern than mcuh of the 3rd grade school yard commenting that has been going on lately)... At least lest have a thread where its cleaned up and one where its not.
How about it?
November 6, 2006
#11 Shamen said . . .I maintain we just ignore dave's posts. If we do that, i think the maturity level of the site will increase
November 6, 2006
#12 Megan..not quite gone said . . .MM, good call on editing the off-topic stuff. I love the football insight on this site; I'm getting sick of the 12 year old banter.
Here's my thought after the Cardinals and Dolphins games - Rex Grossman is the next coming of Brett Favre. I have lived in WI all my life, so I've seen a lot of Brett Favre. People have been making this comparison since Rex was at Florida, so I know this isn't a revolutionary idea, but I think it holds water.
When Favre's team gets down by a bunch, he starts to force throws and he ends up turning the ball over or throwing a lot of incompletions. When the Packers are in the game or leading, he makes good decisions, doesn't force throws and puts up ridiculous numbers. The Packers have dealt with this for years - Brett will win you football games and he will lose you football games. Five touchdowns or three interceptions and two fumbles - which are you going to get? I just hope that Rex will progress in the next couple of years to the point Brett was at in his prime in the mid-90s. Then the Bears will be a force.
November 6, 2006
#13 Brad said . . .Shamen,
what about the the fumbles? I agree, Rex blew it but I think the rest of the offense should be held accountable for this loss as well. How did Miami's offensive line and our defense allow for more 3rd down conversions then we did against the Seahawks?? Maybe I'm comparing apples to oranges. This time, our defense was not able to produce like we did against the other shame of the nfl, the cards. It's definately a wake-up call because our schedule is just going to get harder, we have had it pretty easy thus far.
DS/Jeff, how were the pot-roast nachos?? or did you completely lose your appetite?November 6, 2006
#14 big rob said . . .Okay. Now that the undefeated monkey jumped off of our shoulders let's get down to business.
Realistically, we might lose Urlacher and Berrian for an extended period of time. I'm assuming that they would both be back before the playoffs but what would this do to our chances of grabbing home field advantage for the playoffs? Our rushing defense has obviously missed mike Brown. What happens without Urlacher?
We got another little taste of Road Rex yesterday and I can't say I cared much for it. Surprising to see it happen at home and against the Dolphins, but Rex looked like a road quarterback again yesterday. He threw off-balanced, off of his back foot and sometimes while in a slow backward jog. It didn't help that the pocket was the size of the one on my 5-yr old son's jeans but, damn!
The second half is going to be tough. These two injuries could kill us if someone doesn't step up. Where in the hell is Mark Bradley?! I remember some big Berrian/Bradley controversy(?) in the preseason. It'd be nice to see him dress now. I don't see it being possible that we don't make the playoffs regardless of the status of Urlacher and Berrian. I'd prefer some home games please.
November 6, 2006
#15 Shamen said . . .The defense gave this team every chance to win the game and the offense didn't step up.... This game was winnable on many occasions and we just couldnt seal the deal... Urlacher needs to slap the shit out of Rex to make him settle down... There is sooo much to say but it makes me mad thinking about it..... Rex better bring his A game to the Meadowlands for the next 2 weeks. GO BEARS!!
November 6, 2006
#16 Rob said . . .Megan,
Certainly can't pin this one entirely on Rex, but what was he thinking on that Jason Taylor pick? Taylor was RIGHT THERE! And Rex was forcing throws. When he fumbles because the pass rush blind sides him I don't blame Rex, either - that's on the O-line. But he just doesn't play calm and collected when the Bears get down by a few scores. He is still pretty much a rookie - I think he'll get better.
This was a team loss for sure, though. Miami ran the ball too well and we just kept handing them the football. Ugly stuff.
November 6, 2006
#17 District Selectman said . . .BREAKING NEWS: Urlacher OUT For the season with broken foot...I hate to say this guys but he's done until the playoffs..looks like we're gonna have to find the way to win at least 10 games with him out
November 6, 2006
#18 District Selectman said . . .Let's not let one idiotic troll ruin things for us. For one thing, since Dave started coming around to be our whipping boy, comments have increased dramatically. Just saying. The troll only wins if you let him get your goat. Also, apologies to the female readers if that post was misogynistic in tone. I thought Dave was the only girl here, although to be fair, he really is more of a ladyboy.
One positive from the game was the kicking unit minus Hester and AP's fumbles. The coverage was great, Robbie Gould continues to be rock solid, and Sheed also had a huge return on one kick.
About Rex. He definitely throws off his back foot more than any quarterback save for the one whose name I dare not speak. Sometimes his ability to throw from weird positions works out -- think back to the TD to Sheed against Buffalo -- and sometimes it goes horribly wrong. Is it correctable? Is it something they should want to correct? No idea.
At the end of the game, I'm pretty sure I saw Benson walking up and down the bench telling people to keep their heads up and generally trying to rally the troops. Anybody else catch this?
November 6, 2006
#19 Pissed off said . . .Rob, you sure? Here's the latest from chicagosports.com:
The MRI on the left foot of Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher revealed a sprained ligament, according to FoxSports.com's Jay Glazer. However, Urlacher told Glazer he has no intention of sitting out of next Sunday's game against the New York Giants at the Meadowlands. "If it's up to me I will [play]," Urlacher said. "They told me it all depends on how much pain I can take. I can deal with that."
November 6, 2006
#20 jonathan said . . .I dont understand WTF the deal is with this team. Goddamn i love the Bears and I hate to see them lose. I feel about like I did last year when they lost to the fucking Browns. Its just heart dropping, why cant we lose a close game to a good team, not the shitty fish. I probably shouldnt even care since the players probably care less than I do. They make millions of dollars win or lose so every game is a win for them in the long run. I felt like throwing up after that performance. I went home and took a nap after watching just so i didnt have to think about the game anymore, it made me physically sick. Sometimes I just wish I didnt care anymore. I felt that 16-0 was unrealistic but deep down I hoped it would come true. Man I am still pissed off!!! Hold on the fucking ball Hester, Hold on to the fucking ball Gage, Hold on to the fucking ball Peterson. Don't throw the ball directly at a defender Rex!! How the fuck do you turn over the ball so many times, its like watching the Cards game over and over.
November 6, 2006
#21 Pissed off said . . .I'm pretty pissed off too.
focus and poise in the face of adversity -- the Bears need some serious work here.
The Bears can still make this a great season, hell even a SB season - Let's not forget they're still tops in the NFC, but they're gonna need to FOCUS a bit more down the road.
The lack of concentration, the similarities to the Arizona game, concern me. Arizona was supposed to be an abberration, not a pattern to slip into. Rex needs to fix his fundamentals, and in doing so calm down the offense and keep them on task. A lot to ask someone who is effectively still a rookie, but I still have confidence in him, he has a lot of room to grow yet.
And regarding the excessive trolling/potty-talk, I'm with Megan, if it continues any further I'm outta here. Get some editing/moderation features or something on this site.
November 6, 2006
#22 Rob said . . .We're all adults here, except Dave, who I've grown to dislike severely just from reading a couple of his blogs. I thought this site was for Bears fans or at least people who have a shred of intelligence. And apparently Dave is a Bear basher? Why waste your time at this site.
November 6, 2006
#23 dan said . . .PSYCHE!!!
November 6, 2006
#24 Reverenddave said . . .Urlacher has a toe sprain and should play next weekend. Has anyone heard anything about Berrian?
November 6, 2006
#25 Jheri said . . .Reports seem to be saying that Berrian will be out 2-4 weeks probably on the longer side of that with bruised ribs. McGowen is out for the season after just getting his first snaps of the season yesterday. Wesley is also out.
Im incredibly worried about our road trip prospects in Brian is even just at 90% and without our big deep threat.
Oh and District Salesman, I wanted to say I really enjoyed your post
November 6, 2006
#26 Midway Monster said . . .I need a chaser. Something to make this loss go away. Case in point, I'm in Iowa and an Iowa State fan/ alum. If ISU doesn't win, I can always follow it up with a Hawkeye loss and it takes the sting away. It's wrong, but it works for me. Sorry. Who is my chaser in the NFL?? Minn scored 3 points on SF this past weekend, I stopped worrying about the Pack when Favre announced he was coming back, and wake me up over the Lions when they re-hire Wayne Fonts. Where can I find satisfaction in someone elses misery?? I was using Carolina for a while but I think it was 2006 Playoff Hangover. Can anyone provide me some help??
November 6, 2006
#27 Dave said . . .Sorry folks, been busy and can only pop in/out.
Megan... thanks for sticking it out a tad longer. Lets see if we can bring some class to this operation!
B E A T N E W Y O R K
November 6, 2006
Megan, you sound like you may be bleeding more then blue sometimes. You sound like your bleeding all the time.
Damn your emotional. Is it this way with all you midwestern women?
Whats a girl like you doing on a football site anyway? Hell you couldn't even carry water to the huddle let alone talk X's and O's.
So don't come on here and start with your school girl crap and directing your anger at me. Direct it at the sorry ass Bears. They're the ones who deserve it.
I'm only here to speak the truth about an overrated team.
As for the Bears. They lost to Miami like I said they would. I even told you how bad Rex would look. Go back and read my post.
And now I'm going to tell you they will lose to the G-men also, regardless if Urlacher plays. He won't make any difference. Thats just the way it is.
In fact, the lose to Miami was the beginning of the biggest collapse in the history of the NFL. Heck, you may be only a wild card team after all is said and done. We'll see.
You know, "Da Bears" kinda remind me of a cheap foreign car. Looks good on the outside, but drive them for awhile and they fall apart. You just never seem to get your monies worth.
Giants 24-Bears 13.
November 7, 2006
Here at DaBearsBlog, you are free to kill us or the Bears as you so wish. You are not free, however, to be an asshole. So if you spew racism or ill-meaning foul language (cursing about football is just fine) or anything of that ilk, your comments ain't gonna last long, jerk.