The Bears needed to win at home against the Minnesota Vikings a month ago. They needed to win at home against the Detroit Lions a few weeks ago. They failed on both occasions with an appalling grandeur: not only did they lose but it seemed all fifty-three men on the active roster, the coaching staff, the front-office, the practice squad were eager to stand among the hallowed Soldier Field columns and scream WE ARE NOT A GOOD FOOTBALL TEAM.
I’m relieved the Chicago Bears are playing a good team on the road Sunday. I’m excited that Rex Grossman will resume the starting role amidst one of the more hostile audiences in the National Football League. I feel that way because Sunday will answer THE question: are the Chicago Bears a good football team? Because a good football team – a playoff-caliber football team – a football team that has turned off Shit Street onto Save Our Season Boulevard wins Sunday in Seattle. It doesn’t matter how.
CHICAGO BEARS 16
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS 13
Why do I like the Chicago Bears this week?
1. I always like the Chicago Bears.
2. Because I believe in the resurgent defense. Over their last three games, they’ve allowed only two touchdowns and an average of 12.7 points. The Seahawks will attack the Lovie-Deuce underneath all afternoon which will move them down the field but not into the end zone.
3. Because Rex Grossman’s press conference early in the week made me happy. He was mature and loose, actually cracking up a room of writers who’ve taken great joy in carving him up like a Thanksgiving turkey with a joke about blowing his chance for the big contract. Rex has nothing to lose Sunday and everything to gain. Call me crazy but I like my quarterback in that spot.
4. Because I’m hoping the outcome of the "successful" Raiders strategy of kicking to Devin Hester is that teams will continue to kick to Devin Hester. (Acknowledging of course that Hester was a dumb Moose hold from scoring in Oakland) If they kick to him, he’s going to score this week. To paraphrase the late, great Jim Croce, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind. You don’t pull the mask off the ole’ Lone Ranger and you don’t kick to Devin Hester unless you’re a fucking idiot.�
5. Because from everything I’ve read, the Bears are strongly considering moving Adrian Peterson and Hungry Like the Wolfe onto the field and Cedric Benson into the Curtis Enis Wing of my heart. The next time Benson tries to bounce a run outside will be the first time he’s done so in the navy and burnt.
6. Greg Olsen. I’m just putting him here because I wanted to remind Ron Turner that he’s on the active roster and a tremendous football player. So if you think, Ron, that Greg might be a nice way to make Rex’s life easier – that’d be cool.
As you can see by the Friday column’s Thursday appearance...I’m juiced. Strange as this may sound, a win Sunday and a solid game from Grossman might be the tonic that cures my still-lingering Super Bowl blues. A loss Sunday and I’ll be about as excited for next week’s game against the Broncos as I am for the release of the next Tyler Perry movie.
Bear down.
FIRST!
May 6, 2009
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