Column of the Week

Saturday, December 1, 2007 | Jeff

Jay Mariotti caps off his finest sportswriting week since I've been reading him with a terrific column on Devin Hester. Mariotti is often despised (especially on this site) but good writing is good writing.

Hester: Most Exciting Act in Sports
by Jay Mariotti

He is draped in his own silhouette, paralyzing all but the sky, a grassy drag strip and opponents who foolishly kick the ball anywhere near the 60605 zip code. Devin Hester has been called ``a nuclear weapon'' by Tony Dungy, ``the best ever'' by Mike Shanahan and a phantasm who should be avoided, according to Rod Marinelli, by simply ``kicking the ball into Lake Michigan and making sure it (sinks) to the bottom,'' which, of course, makes absolutely no sense.

But you get the gist. This is more than a great kick returner, more than a world-class speed merchant, more than a video-game freak brought to life. What we're witnessing is history, one of the most spectacular athletic thrillmakers of our time. Every time The Hesterizer runs back a kick for a touchdown, the earth moves beneath our feet, too.

I have watched Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Roger Federer. I have seen Tom Brady, Randy Moss and the Patriots threaten to obliterate record books. And I'm not sure even they've inspired the palpable fear that surrounds The Hester Experience. His next potential victim, the New York Giants, have a placekicker who has yet to launch a kickoff out of the end zone for a touchback. His options today are either to aim his kicks high near the sideline at the Bears' 20-yard line or attempt a ``mortar kick,'' described as the equivalent of a tennis lob. So petrified is the Scottish-born Lawrence Tynes, he's thinking the Lochness Monster is wearing No. 23. He also had a question for the team trainer the other day.

``I asked Ronnie Barnes for Ambien to get some sleep this week,'' Tynes said. ``He's scary. The guy is phenomenal. I've never seen anything like it.''

No longer is Hester merely ``ridiculous,'' the catchword of Bears radio announcer Jeff Joniak. It has reached the point, with 12 returns for touchdowns in only 30 career NFL games, that we must ask if he is the most exciting act going in sports. Brady may be producing the finest quarterbacking play ever, but is he more exciting than Hester? LeBron James is a triple-double machine and Kobe Bryant, the would-be Bull, still is good for 60 on a given night, but are they more exciting than Hester? Alex Rodriguez has a $300 million contract and probably will break the home-run record of Barry Bonds*, but is he more exciting than Hester? Is Woods? Is Federer? Sidney Crosby? Michael Phelps? Beckham and the soccer crowd?

Another superlative, one normally preposterous to associate with a kick returner, is entering my consciousness. At what point should Hester be considered a Most Valuable Player candidate? Know anybody else whose presence has more impact on a game, who causes more consternation in the other team's meeting room? If the Bears return from the ashes and make the playoffs, won't we remember last Sunday as the U-turn? And didn't Hester keep them from fading away against Denver with two touchdowns in the third quarter? Brady will be the MVP because we're conditioned to think about quarterbacks and running backs, but Hester should be in any top-three conversation not just for his numbers but because he dramatically alters coverages and field position.

It really is shocking that any coach even thinks about kicking to him, having watched Shanahan and the Broncos burned by The Hesterizer. Jeff Feagles, the Giants punter, is twice on record that he absolutely, positively won't be punting to him. Just last year in the Meadowlands, Hester caught the Giants napping on a missed 52-yard field goal and returned the ball 108 yards. ``I probably would have downed it if I saw the defenders coming at me full speed," Hester said.

But I've yet to hear Tom Coughlin, the team's embattled coach, definitively say he'll avoid Hester. ``We'll see,'' he said. ``I think everybody knows the quality of the return man, and he's exceptional. It's just a question of whether you want to take it at the 40 by kicking it out of bounds, or what are you going to do? You've got to roll the dice.''

Uh ... ohhhhhh.

``You have to consider everything, with field position being the first,'' Coughlin said. ``Say you give the ball to the guy at the 40 and he makes a first down and then punts it back to you. There is a pretty good chance you might be taking it at the 10 or even inside the 10. It's a tough decision to make. You pick your spots.''

Uh ... ohhhhhh.

The only coach to stare down Hester and win was Oakland's Lane Kiffin -- but only because he had the special-teams personnel to pull it off. The Broncos thought they did, with punter Todd Sauerbrun famously declaring, ``We're not going to play chicken-(poop) ball. We're not going to kick away from him.'' You saw how that worked out.

Hester isn't automatic. He's a human being with emotions like the rest of us. It will be interesting how he responds today after the shooting death of Sean Taylor, his friend and former University of Miami teammate. We shouldn't be surprised if Hester scores a touchdown and dedicates it in Taylor's memory, though he says he won't have a special tribute prepared until the Bears play Thursday night in Washington, where the Redskins are moving on without their late teammate.

``I kind of want to do it when we play Washington. I don't know what I am going to do, but it is going to be something special,'' Hester said. ``This is the first time something like this has happened. I'm just hoping I'll be able to go out there with a clear head and play my game.''

It won't be easy. The first time the world saw Hester return a kick for a touchdown on a high level -- second game, freshman year, Orange Bowl debut -- Taylor was his lead blocker against heated rival Florida. ``All he said was, `Devin, just follow me. I got you,' '' Hester recalled. ``Sure enough, first play of the game, I ran the opening kickoff back just following him.

``Coming from Miami, we treat all our players as brothers. Right now, it's sad.''

Rather than worry if Hester is distracted, I assume he'll be even more motivated today. As a deeply religious soul who often is found reading the Bible when reporters approach, he knows how to best memorialize his friend. Consider it one more reason that Lawrence Tynes should reach for the Ambien.