Chasing Minnesota

| October 6th, 2009

The Minnesota Vikings have a quarterback who easily rests atop the list of America’s all-time greatest self-obsessed bullshit artists. (If you heard his “good Lord” nonsense in the post-game presser, you understand why he’s impossible to like.  If there is a God, he sure as hell doesn’t care about your completion percentage, Brett.) 

The Minnesota Vikings have a running back casually referred to as the game’s best, even while he continues a disturbing career trend of putting the ball on the ground. 

The Minnesota Vikings have a defense that, while loaded with talent, also possesses a stunning repertoire of celebratory dances.  These are not reserved for big plays either.  Every tackle earns a little Agnes de Mille.  And no one embodies “me-first” worst than Jared Allen.

The Vikings, almost overnight, have become about superstars and camera time.  They’ve become the most unlikable group of ballplayers in the league.  They’re the kind of team it is fun to chase for a division title.  And with Green Bay’s offensive line havoc, it looks like the race will be a two-horse one.

I like our horse.       
I like our quarterback who hates every second behind media
microphones.  The guy doesn’t need to run the length of a football field to
celebrate every touchdown in a desperate attempt to show how much fun
he’s having.  He’d prefer helicoptering his body into the end zone for game-tying touchdown.  (Still waiting for Mike Martz’ response to that play…) 

I like that we have one of the best running backs in the sport and he doesn’t seem to know it.  Or care.

I like that our receivers have shocked the football universe by performing like one of the league’s best units and not one of them has arrogantly shot their mouths off at the media and fans who doubted them daily.

I like our defense, who reserve celebratory dances for
celebration-worthy moments.  (Outside of AB’s gator chomp, I don’t
think we have a dance.)  The biggest star on the Chicago Bears’ roster
has a cast on his wrist but is proudly standing on the sideline, doing his best Mike Brown impression.

It’s night and day now in the NFC North.  Good and evil.  Sometimes sports come down to binaries as basic as that.  For the sake of everyone, I hope it plays out on the freezing night of December 28th in front of the Soldier Field faithful.  A classic battle in the finest arena.  I know what side I’ll be on.  The good side.