Cleveland at Chicago Preview

| October 28th, 2009

Reason says…

Your 3-3 2009 Chicago Bears
Cleveland Browns

Why do I like the Chicago Bears this week?

  1. I always like the Chicago Bears.
  2. Because if the Bears lose this week, I’ll be throwing in the towel on a season earlier than I have since 2004 and will hate the sport I love for the next three months.
  3. Because the Bears are better at every single position on the field outside of the return game.  (And they’re only not better in the return game because they have the greatest kick returner ever playing wide receiver.)
  4. Because I can’t fathom lifting my head off the Josie Woods’ bar if they don’t.

Chicago Bears 24, Cleveland Browns 9

Treason says…

Really?  I have to do this game too?  LOL.

For the Browns to win this game, three things need to happen:

  1. The
    game must be a low-scoring affair.  There’s no way in hell the Browns
    are going to score three or four touchdowns.  However, if they can run
    the ball well enough (and by that I mean, get four yards per carry and
    not turn it over), they can dominate time of possession, and Phil
    Dawson is good enough to make good on all of his field goal tries. 
    After getting burned by names like *cough* Julius Jones and Curtis
    Benson, if the Bears give up a big game to Jamal Lewis, you can be sure
    Curtis Enis will attempt a comeback.
  2. Derek Anderson can not
    turn the ball over.  He doesn’t have to be spectacular (or even
    average); he just can’t piss the game away.
  3. Josh Cribbs,
    the best return man in the league, needs to be his usual
    near-unstoppable self and take a few kicks deep into Bears’ territory.

know asking for all of the above to happen is like asking a mad
scientist to successfully combine the blowjob and pizza slice into one
great affordable invention we can all enjoy with the click of a button,
but hey, if this is possible http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7V1_Swv6CY then ANYTHING is possible.

The Browns will focus on stopping the pass and dare the Bears to run
the ball.  The Bears will commit a bunch of senseless penalties at the
worst times possible.  The Browns will keep it simple and keep it
close.  Big game for Dawson.

Browns 19, Bears 17.