Audibles From the Long Snapper: Cutler’s Maturation, Garlin, Deadspin on ESPN

| September 25th, 2013


This is an article about how the evolution of a human being, a man, and less about football. (Thanks to Michael C. Wright for spreading the word on Twitter.) It is an absolutely must read and it contains passages like this:

Trestman, McCown and Marshall were among the guests who attended Cutler’s June wedding to reality television star Kristin Cavallari in Nashville.

“I was very, very impressed with the humility of the entire affair,” Trestman said of the ceremony, which took place at Woodmont Christian Church, and the reception at Houston Station. “It was a very unpretentious environment of people who really liked each other. It wasn’t over the top. Very simple. It was a loving environment. I probably said too much already. I was appreciative of being there and getting to know some of the people in his life.”

It seems clear marriage and fatherhood — Jay and Kristin are parents of 1-year-old Camden Jack Cutler — have been factors in Cutler’s growth. The same face that cameras have captured sneering at teammates recently has been caught making baby faces. Yes, teammates have observed Cutler cooing at Camden via FaceTime at Halas Hall. He also has been observed reading parenting books, and books on marriage.

“Spending as much time as I do with him, sharing meals at his house, watching him be a dad, I think it’s really cool,” McCown said. “When a man embraces leading his home and that area of his life, I think other areas of his life should fall into place. You are starting to see that with him.”

CLICK HERE to read the entirety of the piece. It’s on so web site I’ve never heard of called Sports on Earth – which is the definition of a catch-all.


Another article that somehow slipped by me was Jeff Garlin’s 10 Things I Think I Think piece for Peter King’s newly-formed TheMMQB. (Can someone explain to why King and SI didn’t just buy out MMQB.com for the ten grand it would have cost instead of tagging on the ridiculous article at the start? This just seems like corporate cheapness.) Here are a few favorites from the Garlin piece:

1. I think if you’re not from Chicago—I am—you might not understand the Bears are more popular than the Bulls, Blackhawks, Sox and Cubs combined. It’s insane.

2. I think when you ask me my favorite Bears moment, it’s this: any time Walter Payton ran the ball. Oh my God, I saw him do all these different things—running to his right, changing, running to his left, then pounding the crap out of someone. The idea was, I’m gonna hurt you more than you hurt me. I met him once. I couldn’t believe I was in the same room as him. I said, ‘Hi! Nice to meet you.’ My voice went up. It cracked. He was retired. I was in awe.

3. I think one of my memories of the Super Bowl in ’85 was walking back to my apartment in Chicago after the game and just freezing. Freezing. And naked people running through the streets. More than one person. Zero degrees. Naked people!

4. I think the Bears were better the next year. But the team and Mike Ditka started to believe the hype. When that happens, the fall isn’t very far away.

Then he starts talking about fantasy football and I lost interest.


If you’ve ever wondered how something as stupid as Jaws saying Colin Kaepernick could become one of the greatest quarterbacks ever becomes news, Deadspin broke it down piece-for-piece:

Step 1: Ron Jaworski goes on SportsCenter Wednesday at a little after noon and says something absolutely ridiculous: “I truly believe Colin Kaepernick could be one of the greatest quarterbacks ever.”

Step 2SportsCenter replays that clip less than an hour later. “Strong words from Jaws!”

Step 3: A reporter at 49ers camp asks Colin Kaepernick, “Ron Jaworski said today he thought you could be the greatest quarterback of all-time, the best quarterback ever. How do you deal with praise and stuff in this off-season and what not?” That full question—and Kaepernick’s response—are later broadcast on SportsCenter.

Step 4: Steve Levy goes on the 11 p.m. SportsCenter and talks about what Jaworski had to say.

Step 5: Steve Young comes on SportsCenter to do a spot on Jaws’s opinion.

Step 6: San Francisco’s ABC affiliate does a segment dedicated to it. ABC and ESPN are both owned by Disney.

Step 7SportsCenter replays Jaws’s hot take several times overnight. SportsCenter anchor Jonathan Coachman reports that Kaepernick is “humbly appreciative of all this greatest-ever talk.” All this greatest-ever talk.

Step 8: The AP writes up a story about Jaworski’s take. (So does SI.)

Step 9: ESPN picks up the AP story.

Step 10: ESPN puts the AP story on the front page of ESPN.com with the headline, “Jaworski praises Colin Kaepernick.”

Step 11: ESPN Radio’s Mike Golic plays the clip and dedicates one of his first segments to it on Thursday morning.

Step 12: A topic for the morning SportsCenter. “Jaws made a little bit of news yesterday!” Jaworski comes on with Adam Schefter to talk about what he said. And then Jaworski says that Kaepernick answered the question—that is, a question from the reporter about Jaworski’s take—perfectly.

Step 13: Jaws goes on another edition of SportsCenter. “I’m going to stick to what I said!” he said, laughing hysterically.

Step 14: Jaworski goes on First Take to talk about it with Skip Bayless. “You put it on Tebow,” Jaworski tells him.

It’s shrewd. It’s maniacal. And it’s why ESPN has the power it has in the sports world: they control the conversation.


If you had a chance to listen to my conversation with Steve Maneri yesterday you heard how excited he got discussing this run by Cutler. It inspired the sideline. Here’s what some ex-quarterbacks thought about the play and I think the discussion is fair:


  1. PFF continues to track the ROY race and Kyle Long is currently in the sixth position. Nice to read an article actually analyzing the rookie class.
  2. I’m not sure fans care about Brian Urlacher’s media career but this an article about Mike Tyson giving  54 a boxing lesson on Fox Sports 1.
  3. Rashad Johnson lost the tip of his finger playing football and Tweeted a picture of the monstrosity.
  4. Nate Burleson wasn’t texting and driving when he wrecked his car. He was distracted by pizza sliding off the front seat.
  5. Not only should Michael Bush be getting more playing time but I would start working Michael Ford into the game plan. The Bears need Matt Forte in December and January. 30 touches a game will be hard to sustain.


I know you did. Do yourself a favor and listen to this: