Five Rules For Turning in a Successful Draft

| April 23rd, 2013

These are hard rules. Unbreakable and unflappable.

Rule #1

Don’t draft crazy. If a player was acting crazy in college, that will not improve once he is given the economic ability to literally do anything he wants.

Rule #2

If a player was injured repeatedly in college he will not stop being injured repeatedly when colliding with bigger, stronger men.

Rule #3

Never be afraid to draft a guy named George. There’s a bunch of them in the Hall of Fame.

Rule #4

The greatest defensive player in the history of the sport spent thousands of dollars a day – throughout his career – on cocaine. So don’t worry too much about failed drug tests for marijuana use.

Rule #5

Even if you have a terrific starter, drafting a quarterback is never a poor decision. It is the only position wherein a solid performance in meaningless preseason games can provide your franchise with a bounty of draft picks in the future.