Audibles From the Long Snapper: Jackasses Badger Trestman’s Daughters, Gabriel & More!

| November 11th, 2014


If you abuse one of Marc Trestman’s Daughters Because He’s Lost Some Football Games, You Don’t Deserve to Be Part of the Human Race

Deadspin reported the story on Monday about Bears fans harassing the daughters of Marc Trestman because, you know, he’s struggling as a football coach. The article’s author, Samer Kalaf, summed the entire ordeal up perfectly: “The Bears suck, but these people suck more.”

Sports are fun. They are life’s great escape. And I don’t judge anyone emotionally investing in a football or any other team because it is the one element of life where a human can be completely unselfish. We have nothing to do with these outcomes, even though we often blame the sandwich we ate or where we sat or what jersey we wore.

You’d hope these assholes harassing the Trestman girls are teenagers but unfortunately they are not. They are useless non-entities unhappy with their own existence who’ve put too much of their self worth on the wins and losses of football team. To any of those individuals who might come across this site I encourage you to grow up and get a fucking life. Marc Trestman may not last as the coach of the Bears but he’s achieved more in his last two years on this earth than you’ll achieve in all of yours.

It is people like these pricks starting fights in parking lots and giving sports fans a bad name all these years and I’m tired of it.

Greg Gabriel on the Bears

Brandon Marshall spoke to a lack of confidence inside the Bears locker room on Waddle & Silvy Monday, even suggesting the team might need a sports psychologist. Greg Gabriel went further in a column for CBS:

It has become obvious this Bears team has no confidence. Is it no confidence in themselves or no confidence in the coaching staff? Or is it a combination of the two? When I was working in Halas Hall, I could have easily answered that question. But being on the outside now, I have to rely on what I hear from different sources.

There have been rumblings that the players — or at least some of them — don’t buy into the current coaching staff. When I say that, I mean both Marc Trestman as a head coach and Mel Tucker as the defensive coordinator.

Something is clearly rotten in the state of Illinois and if the players have ceased buying into the offensive philosophy it would at least explain how one of the most talented offenses in the sport is this bad.

 Can Someone Defined ‘Guaranteed’?


From Florio over at PFT:

The new deal signed earlier this year by Bears quarterback Jay Cutler carries $54 million in guaranteed money. But there’s a caveat.

Like so many other long-term veteran deals, the Bears can stop the bleeding in March of 2015 or March of 2016, cutting off the flow of guaranteed money by cutting Cutler.

For example, if the Bears dump him by March 2015, they’ll avoid $16 million in guaranteed money. If they part ways with him by March 2016, they’ll save the final $6 million guaranteed.

How can one avoid guaranteed money? Doesn’t that make the money not guaranteed? Either way, if Phil Emery remains the GM of the Chicago Bears there is no chance the Bears are quarterbacked by anyone other than Jay Cutler in September 2015.

A Test for George McCaskey

There has been a lot of talk on the internet about boycotting the Bears next season in some silly and inane attempt to send a message to the McCaskey family. The belief is that the failure to sell Italian beef sandwiches for three hours will cripple the family and force them to change GMs and coaches.


Check out this story at Forbes. If you’re not a reader I will spoil it for you: the Chicago Bears are valued by Forbes at $1.7 billion. (If they were for sale they would fetch closer to $2.5 billion.) Every team ahead of them OWNS THEIR STADIUM AND LAND. If the McCaskey family does not make changes to the football infrastructure it does not mean they are worried about finances. It means either (a) they don’t have the football acumen to make such decisions or (b) losing doesn’t bother them. The problem is not the cheapness of the McCaskey family. The problem is we don’t know how much football means to them.

We All Need Joy…

So watch this.

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