Reverend’s Rant, Text Edition: Why Moving the Bears From Soldier Field is Insane

| March 1st, 2021

The following is Reverend Dave’s response to Adam Hoge’s suggestion that the Bears buy the Arlington Park property in Arlington Heights and irrationally move the team into the suburbs. 

I like Hoge, but what is the point of this article?

Question answers itself.

Didn’t stop me from getting riled up like everyone else.

“Soldier Field offers nothing in terms of convenience. It’s hard to access, with limited public transportation options…”

The fuck it does.

Hoge claims the Arlington Metra stop makes it more accessible than Soldier Field. Accessible to who? The northwest suburbs? Are those the only people who count? From Joliet south and anywhere East, Arlington is a longer drive than Solider Field.

Meanwhile, there are multiple Metra stops in walking distance of the stadium. There’s the El train. Hell, Union Station itself is only 40-minutes. I can already hear the outcries at that ambulatory demand, but as someone who has taken the train from the Meadowlands (departing a mere 50 yards from the stadium entrance) many times, a 40-minute walk is way better than 40 minutes squashed in a mass of humanity waiting on that one method of egress.

“What Chicago needs – a legitimate multi-purpose, 80,000-seat stadium with a retractable roof.”

The fuck it does.

Why do we need a roof? I don’t romanticize freezing but sitting in the cold can be fun at a Bears game, even if it’s not for Hoge. Feels a lot more like football in the cold. Would the Pack put a lid on Lambeau?  

More importantly though, how does the fan experience benefit from an extra 20,000 people? Will that make parking or accessibility easier? Do I want the air to be even thinner when I buy tickets in the nosebleeds? Do I care if the McCaskey’s make more off ticket revenue?  

Read More …

Tagged: ,


Three Questions with a Bears Fan, Episode I: Reverend Dave

| March 4th, 2020

The following the first of many pieces in a new conversation series, Three Questions with a Bears Fan. There was no other choice to kick this off other than Reverend Dave. If you don’t know who he is, go back and listen to the dozens upon dozens of “sermons” and “Reverend’s Rants” he provided over the years. He’s a jerk. But he’s our jerk.

DBB: You are a Bears fan. You are also my friend. If you were offered the Bears winning the 2021 Super Bowl in exchange for my developing a non-terminal illness like scabies, would you make that deal?

Reverend Dave: You’re my friend, I would let you develop scabies in exchange for a few free Old Styles at the Goat. Scabies isn’t permanent. I would make that deal in a heartbeat. Hell, remember that moment of euphoria when Hester returned the opening kickoff in that Super Bowl? I would give you alopecia to relive that moment again, much less an actual Bears’ Super Bowl win that I’m old enough to remember.

(Later, an email.)

I just remembered! When I came back from Cameroon I had this nasty looking bug bite on my arm. My girlfriend at the time was convinced it was some terrible tropical disease and to show her it was nothing I rubbed it on her arm. Welp, I was wrong. It was ringworm. She was pissed. 

Id say her getting ringworm was worth the laugh I still get from that story. So there is little non-lethal I wouldn’t subject you to for a Super Bowl win. 

DBB: You have a child now. Did having a child make you like the Bears less? You know, because of “perspective”?

Reverend Dave: Nope. I don’t get the whole having a child changes your whole perspective on life thing. I love my daughter, she’s awesome, doesn’t mean I suddenly like cheap domestic beer or Bears football any less. There’s a much greater chance me liking my daughter less in the future. I mean, I can’t like the Bears less than the Jimmy Clausen game, but my daughter is just starting a lifetime of opportunities to do things to make me like her less. 

Read More …

Tagged: , , , , ,


DaBearsPod: Special Wildcard Weekend Edition with Paul Domowitch [AUDIO]

| January 4th, 2019

On this special Wildcard Weekend edition of DaBearsPod:

  • (0:23) Jeff, out of breath because he was violently pacing while recording, discusses what to expect from an unpredictable 2018 Chicago Bears offense as we head into the second season.
  • (4:42) Paul Domowitch of the Philadelphia Daily News on Nick Foles and where he perceives the mismatches in this Eagles at Bears contest. (He also predicts a 4-point Bears victory.)
  • (26:13) Reverend Dave talks about pith helmets in a toilet.
  • (29:22) Fight song & prediction!

Tagged: , , ,


The Diary of the Day of Our First Division Title in 8 Years

| December 17th, 2018

It was a wild day. Start to finish. Here’s what I went through.


4:15 AM. My uncle’s birthday party started at 10 AM Saturday, in an Asbury Park bar, so I was fast asleep by 9:30 PM. At 4:15 I was wide awake and hungover and then came to the realization that (a) it was Sunday and (b) the Bears would be playing the Packers for a division title in 11 hours. So now I was awake, hungover and tense.

5:15 AM. Reverend Dave was flying into JFK from Paris so I checked the tracker. He was on time. There’s a good and bad side of this. Good side is…he’s on time. Bad side is I have to see Dave now.

9:29 AM. I had to drive from Sea Girt, New Jersey to Queens. I drive my dead grandfather’s 2004 Chevy Cavalier. It has 197,000 miles on it. And it doesn’t handle particularly well in conditions. Not only did I make this drive in a downpour but the fog was so thick I couldn’t see ten yards in front of the car.

10 and 2. Whole way. Tense as hell. Packer tense. Driving tense. Lots of tense.

11:35 AM. The normally hour and half ride is now done, clocking in at over 2. Instead of going into my apartment to pet my cats I went into my local, took a dump, slammed a quick Miller Lite and ordered an Uber to Josie Woods.

Sometime Around Noon. I popped into the pizza joint next to Josies for a quick slice. Cab pulls up in front. I see Dave in the back. He’s got two of the largest suitcases I’ve ever seen. I can barely hold the slice because I’m still tense from the drive and worrying my senior citizen mobile would veer the fuck off the Verrazano Bridge.

I said hello to Dave.

12:35 PM. There were already more Bears fans at Josie Woods than the previous five weeks combined. New faces too. Amazing what happens when you win more than you lose.

12:56 PM. A long debate occurred as we tried to find what the city equivalent of Reverend Dave is. Our best comp: Trenton. Except Trenton has a good slogan. (“What Trenton Makes, the World Takes”) Noah suggested the shitty tourist trap town at the base of Machu Picchu. Probably he’s the bad parts of Warsaw.

Read More …

Tagged: , ,


DaBearsPod: Packer Week with Cam Worrell [AUDIO]

| December 14th, 2018

On this episode of DaBearsPod:

  • No monologue! (Aren’t you lucky?)
  • Cam Worrell discusses tons of stuff, including why Vic Fangio insists upon dropping Khalil Mack into coverage, what it’s like to play on an elite-level defense, the importance of “Packer Week” and Mike Vick quitting at Soldier Field in 2005.
  • Some drunk girl told Reverend Dave to fuck off. She’s now my hero.

Tagged: , ,


DaBearsPod (11/9/18): The Great Dave Birkett of the Detroit Free Press [AUDIO]

| November 9th, 2018

On this episode of DaBearsPod:

  • (0:17) Jeff encourages Bears fans to “wake the fuck up” and realize how a Mike Lombardi operates. Also, you know, enjoy all this!!
  • (5:35) Dave Burkett of the Detroit Free Press on his posture requirements from Matt Patricia, where Lions currently stand in their “rebuild” process & much more.
  • (19:04) Reverend Dave on dodging bricks in Serbia.

Tagged: , , , , ,


DaBearsPod 11/2/18: Special Guest Del Reid, Founder of #BillsMafia & 26Shirts.com

| November 2nd, 2018

On this episode of DaBearsPod:

  • (0:24) Jeff urges fans to see the excitement building in front of them and stop with the million tiny debates.
  • (2:27) Del Reid discusses founding #BillsMafia, running 26Shirts.com & all other things Bills.
  • (21:25) Reverend Dave compares this Bears season to paper plates in an Airbnb in Zanzibar.

It’s a good show. Give it a listen

Tagged: , , ,


DaBearsPod on the Bye with the Legendary Adam Jahns [AUDIO]

| October 5th, 2018

On this episode of DaBearsPod:

  • (1:24) Jeff joins Trent Condon on the radio in Des Moines to break down the first quarter. For a few of the questions, he had no answer, so…
  • (12:59) The great Adam Jahns from a hotel room in Ottawa! He weighs in on the mood at Halas Hall, the impact of Khalil Mack and the offensive futures of Jordan Howard , Kevin White, James Daniels…etc.
  • (32:17) Reverend Dave on God and the 2018 Chicago Bears. They have something in common.

Tagged: , , ,


DaBearsPod Welcomes Mark Leibovich, Author of “Big Game” [AUDIO]

| September 28th, 2018

On this episode of DaBearsPod:

  • Jeff is excited about the first relevant Bears team in a half-decade.
  • Author Mark Leibovich joins the pod to discuss his brilliantly funny book Big Game. What does Mark think of the Roger Goodells and Adam Schefters of the world? What does the league think of the McCaskey family? Give a listen and find out. (You can order Mark’s book HERE.)
  • Reverend Dave depresses the shit out of everyone. Seriously. This is about slavery.

Tagged: , , ,