7:14 AM ET
It’s almost unbelievable to think it’s here, the 2022 football season. After so much bullshit, so much nonsense, we finally have real things to discuss. I’ll be back in five hours. (I’m going to need every minute of it to shake off the dozen Pilsner Urquells I drank last night at the Bohemian Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens.)
12:45 PM ET
The conditions look absolutely miserable at Soldier Field today. But the squeegee crew is working hard to at least get the standing water off the grass pitch. (This is a proper minute-by-minute report. We’re going to use the proper nomenclature.
12:52 PM ET
Hey, did you guys here that Queen Elizabeth died?
12:55 PM ET
Sean Payton just showed up on the Fox pregame show to make a prediction. He looks enormous. Clearly he hasn’t retired from New Orleans cuisine.
12:59 PM ET
I just saw Deebo Samuel on the sideline and thought, “Is his name actually Deebo?”
Turns out, it is not.
His name is Tyshun Raequan “Deebo” Samuel per Wikipedia. That’s a badass name.
1:02 PM ET
Pretty sure Jim Cornelison just put an extra syllable in “perilous” while doing the anthem.
1:06 PM ET
My cat Bea doesn’t get the play Bear gets on Twitter, but she has decided to watch this game on my lap, while staring directly at my face. I’m not sure if she’s trying to display affection or instill fear.
Kickoff!
