Because I wanted to have fun with it, here is what I would do throughout the first round of the NFL Draft if I ran every team. This is not a mock draft. I don’t know what any of these teams think about any player and I mostly don’t care.

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1. Houston Texans 

TRADE! The Texans deal the first pick to the Oakland Raiders for free ferry transportation to and from Alcatraz and a box of autographed Jose Canseco photographs.

1. OAKLAND RAIDERS select Jadeveon Clowney.

Why? Because I’ve been an unmitigated disaster as GM in Oakland and a gutsy move like this would at least enable me to put my stamp on the organization. If I come out of this draft with a potential All Pro DE and my chosen quarterback at the top of the second round, I’ll be smiling Monday morning and perhaps buy myself an additional year in charge to develop the young talents.

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2. ST. LOUIS RAMS (from Washington Redskins) select Greg Robinson.

Why? Because I would think the Rams are close and I don’t think Johnny Manziel could survive four games against the Niners and Seahawks in his rookie campaign. Bradford might not be my guy long-term but I believe I can win with him if my offensive line matches the strength of my defensive line.

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3. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS select Khalil Mack.

Why? Because I hired Gus Bradley to build the Seahawks defense in Jacksonville and I don’t believe in this theory that a flashy-named QB sells tickets. Winning sells tickets. We’re not winning anything this year. I’m giving my head coach the best toy available and seeing what he does with it.

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4. Cleveland Browns

TRADE! The Browns deal the fourth pick to the Buffalo Bills for wings from the Anchor.

4. BUFFALO BILLS select Sammy Watkins.

Why? Because I have a solid group on defense and need playmakers. Watkins is the best playmaker in this draft and a perfect compliment to Robert Woods, who looked like a budding star a year ago in Buffalo. I’ve decided to build the fastest team in my division and take my chances.

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5. HOUSTON TEXANS (from Oakland Raiders) select John Pigskin.

Why? Because it’s just the Texas thing to do and there are few coaches in the league better suited to Manziel’s molding and demeanor than Bill O’Brien. And because I’ve gotten a nice package for the first overall selection, the risk is mitigated. 

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I’m not much for draft guessing or mock drafting as it’s known in the sports media biz. And when it comes to the Chicago Bears under Phil Emery it is sometimes easier to try and pinpoint the proper questions as opposed to searching for the elusive answers.

Question #1

Does Kony Ealy fit the Emery mold as a first round draft pick? 

Here is what I think we should look for when trying to figure the direction Emery might venture in the first round: physically gifted athlete, versatile, projected to go 10 or so picks after the Bears are slotted. With the discussion of Ealy being evaluated as a DE who can slide inside to the three-tech, the buzz is starting to grow that he may be featured at a Halas Hall press conference early next week.

Question #2

Is Emery serious about ignoring developmental quarterbacks?

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Chris Borland, ILB, Wisconsin

• If Borland did not have serious medical concerns surrounding the possibility of a third surgery, I truly believe he could have snuck his way into the tail end of the first round.
• His size draws comparisons to Zach Thomas and that is EXACTLY who he plays like. There is not a linebacker in this draft who does a finer job at sniffing out the ball carrier and closing on him. When you watch Borland, you see a man born to play middle linebacker. And born middle linebackers belong in Chicago.
• ESPN’s Brian Bennett did a brilliant profile of Borland in October. One of my favorite quotes: “There are times when he’ll make a big play at practice, and then as he’s jogging back, he’ll do a backflip,” defensive coordinator Dave Aranda said. “That’s Chris.” Read the entire profile by CLICKING HERE.
• Borland’s style of play suggests that even if he struggled at LB he could be one of the best special teams men in the sport.
• From a human perspective, a rooting perspective, there is not a player in this draft I’d be happier to see in a Bears uniform.

De’Anthony Thomas, RB/WR/KR, Oregon

• Bears have three “offensive production” needs: Forte backup/scat back, speed threat on the outside and kick returner. Thomas fills all three needs with one body. (Though I’m not sure how many carries I’d give him.)

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Another fantastic conversation with Scott Wright, who did a fine job getting me excited for next week. Topics discussed:

• Justin Gilbert’s dynamic return skills ALONE might have made him a top 100 player.
• Our love affair with Aaron Donald’s tape.
• The drop-off at tight end after after Eric Ebron.
• Who the “reach” might be for Phil Emery in the first round. (Answer: safety Deone Bucannon)
• What non-QB might find himself falling down the board on draft night. (Answer: CJ Mosley)
• Scott’s Plan A, Plan B and Plan C for the first round selection of Phil Emery.

…and I need your questions. Scott is my favorite “draft guru” out there and he’s been gracious enough, for the second straight year, to grant me a half hour of his time during the busiest two-week period of his calendar. So submit questions you’d like me to ask him in the comments section below. I’ll take a half dozen of the best ones and ask them directly to Scott.

One note. To separate your questions from the general conversation below, type the word QUESTION (in the caps) at the start of the question. This way I can get through the comments quickly.

Thanks in advance.

To see the entirety of the 2014 Bears schedule, CLICK HERE.

Guessing which teams will be good and which teams will not is a futile endeavor in the middle of April. So addressing the strength of the Chicago Bears 2014 schedule is also futile. But the schedule does offer many talking points, mostly about logistics, worth thinking about as we prepare to switch our attention around here to the NFL Draft.

• Bears opening with five of their first eight on the road is tough sledding for any franchise but especially one that’ll be installing what is essentially a new defensive structure. Bears season may be a matter of early survival.
• Perfect bye week, right in the middle of the year. One thing I always think about when it comes to the bye week is the PUP list. If the Bears suffer a significant injury between now and Labor Day and are forced to utilize the PUP list, they may be able to give that player an additional three weeks before calling him back into action.
• I don’t care what form the Niners are in come early September, the Bears will be double-digit underdogs when they help open the Dungaree Ballpark outside San Fran. Those fans are already quite rowdy without the excitement of christening the sloop and a full day of imbibing Scrimshaw.

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The schedule comes out tomorrow night at 7 pm CT and I’ll have a full reaction column up soon after the release.

Around the League Tweets, A Tradition Unlike Any Other. 1 of 10. Is there one football fan who see the Draft Day ads & sprints to Fandango?

Side note: I look forward to seeing this film in two and a half years on TNT.

2 of 10. Can people stop with the anti-Mike Vick petitions? I wouldn’t root for him under ANY circumstances but he has right to earn living.

Side note: How can people identifying themselves as liberal, a majority of the PETA-friendly base, not agree with this concept? The man went to jail. Prison. With scary guys everywhere. He doesn’t deserve your sympathy but he does deserve the opportunity.

3 of 10. Just because the Pro Bowl out rated the other shitty professional all-star games on TV doesn’t make it NOT shitty. It IS shitty.

4 of 10. NFL should not only release preseason schedule. They should release $ they’re stealing from STHs forced to buy worthless product.

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For the last few years I have hesitated to write this column. For one reason or another I decided I would keep this story to myself and only criticize David Haugh on the grounds which everyone else criticizes David Haugh: his work. But “sources” – especially those surrounding the NJ.com column on the release of DeSean Jackson by the Philadelphia Eagle – are quickly becoming a major topic of conversation when it comes to football reporting. One needs only follow Jason Whitlock on Twitter to understand how major the conversation is becoming.

I was a “source” for David Haugh.

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Around the League Tweets has our Pro Day Monday. No Tweeting that day. Will instead display our ability to eliminate apostrophes & articles.

2 of 10. There must be a dearth of corners on market if Champ Bailey still has interest from teams. 2013 tape made 1 thing clear: he’s done.

[Side note: I love when people make statements like, “Bailey should retire now.” Champ Bailey is thirty-five years old. Thirty five! And the morning after he retires he’ll enter a period of irrelevancy he hasn’t experienced since he was about 10. He won’t be a football player. He won’t be a star. He won’t be receiving a massive pay check weekly. Bailey should retire whenever the hell he wants.]

3 of 10. Urlacher didn’t learn from Tiki. Fans ma love ya in team’s uniform but they love TEAM far more. Best not criticize em post-career.

[Side note: If Urlacher continues to complain about the organization, he’ll start hearing boos at Soldier Field. ESPECIALLY if the Bears win without him.]

4 of 10. Release of Desean Jackson far too convenient for the Eagles. Wanna bet they had say as to when the DJax gang piece would come out?

5 of 10. Dont know if they’ll gel but Giants quietly went about fixing their biggest issue: porous offensive line play. Big, veteran bodies.

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