Brad Biggs’ gives his definition of a “number one receiver” in this abbreviated mailbag column over at the Sun-Times.  Believe it or not, I actual got texts from people claiming we should have traded for Brandon Marshall (6:11 ET Sunday) and Braylon Edwards (11:01 ET Monday).  This coming off a weekend where media and fans seem to be pining for the quarterbacks and running backs of yesteryear.  Why?  Because nobody in Chicago seems to notice that our defense gives up third-and-longers faster than the French gave up France to the Nazis while our offense WILL carry us into the playoffs.

Matty Ice has only been sacked twice in four game this season.  That’s the same number of times as Peyton Manning.  Goal number one: hit him.

Goal number two is cover Roddy White and if this job is bestowed upon anyone other than Charles Tillman then the coaching staff has done a poor job.

Here’s the Falcons’ quarterly report from head coach Mike Smith.  The article opens, “It could be better but not by a whole lot. The Falcons are a quarter of the way through the 2009 season with a 3-1 mark, one game behind the New Orleans Saints in the NFC South.”  3-1 in some parts of the country is a positive thing.

Another stat of note: the Falcons are 20th in the league in yards allowed and 5th in points allowed.  “What does this mean, Jeff?”  I’ll tell you.  It means they’re the kind of defense that will give you sixty yards and make you kick field goals.  (Remind you of anyone?)  It also means that if you don’t execute down in the red zone, you’ll end up chasing them in the fourth quarter.  Ron Turner and Jay Cutler have said the focus has been on red zone/third downs during the bye week.  We’ll find out on Sunday night.

Final point.  Never discount the playoff implications of a ballgame like this.  People will tell you “it’s early” but not in this case.  These are two playoff-caliber teams.  This game could be a much bigger deal in January.

Quick vent.

Rick Morrissey was always ready to kill Kyle Orton, Bears quarterback.  Now he’s singing the praises of John Elway Jr. and the 5-0 Denver Broncos.  The truth is if the Bears’ defense had not collapsed in 2008, the Bears would have opened 5-0.  If they didn’t suffer the sadness in Atlanta a few weeks later, the Bears would have opened 7-0.  None of those losses were on Orton, who was so good I wrote that I wanted him signed long-term. 

Steve Rosenbloom believes the success of Orton and Cedric Benson is enough to somehow call into question the work done by Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith.  Really, Steve?  If you want to question Jerry Angelo, there’s more than enough fodder over the years to pick from.  Upgrading at quarterback and getting rid of an attitude problem at tailback are not two of them.  As for Lovie Smith…

The Chicago Bears are 3-1.  They have three wins and one loss.  That’s a terrific record.  It can only be one game better.  And now they’re entering a stretch of difficult road games that could springboard them onto something special.  If the Chicago media must write negatively, stick to analyzing newspaper sales and the remarkable lack of craft they employ in their own work.  As for the Chicago Bears, they’re good.  And they’re winning.  And negativity for the sake of being negative is bush league shit.

I love the city of Chicago and I love the Chicago Bears.  But it’s time everybody get over the “woah is me” nonsense.  Things are not bad for the Bears, kids, not matter what you read in the papers.  But optimism does not a story make.  Especially for hack journalists in the Windy City. 

You can’t learn anything from the first quarter of the season.  Nothing.  Zero.  The Baltimore Ravens were the best team in football after three meaningless wins.  Patriots.  Loss.  Bengals.  Loss.  The New York Giants are currently the cream of the crop, having beaten the crappy Redskins, bad Cowboys, awful Bucs, piss poor Chiefs and beyond-miserable Raiders.  Minnesota is riding high at 5-0 as well, with their win at San Francisco suddenly look far-less impressive.

The truth is we don’t know now.  But we start knowing soon.  And for the Chicago Bears…real soon.  I’d always thought the Atlanta game would be the first real litmus test of the 2009 season (I picked them to the conference’s number one seed) but I never suspected that it’d be followed by a similarly daunting task in Cincinnati.  It is.  If the Bears split these next two, they should be able to do enough down the stretch to keep themselves in the hunt.  Win both and they could be en route to something.  (Losing both makes 8-8 a grim reality.)

It starts with Atlanta.  Against a San Francisco defense that Tony Siragusa said reminded him of his 2000 Super Bowl Ravens (I couldn’t believe he said it either), Ryan/Turner/White put up almost five hundred yards of total offense in a 45-10 shellacking.  They run it.  They throw it.  They block it.  They do all three well.  If the Bears can go on the road and beat these Falcons, it’ll be their first real accomplishment of the 2009 season.

And the Bears need only look at the tape of yesterday’s game against the 49ers to understand what will happen if they turn in one of their trademark mail-in-job first halves against Atlanta.  Points.  Piles of them.  Quickly.    

• Dan Pompei’s love letter to recent draft classes feels a little premature.  I’m a big fan of Jerry Angelo but let’s see more than four games before we start believing statements like, “Before camp started, the Bears didn’t know if they could count on
  Afalava, Bowman, [Kellen] Davis, Knox, Bennett and [Chris] Williams. Now they don’t know
  if they could keep winning without them.”  I’m not saying the ability of all these young guys doesn’t bode well for the future of the organization.  I’m just not ready to raise the 2009 championship banner yet.
• Courageously, Mike Martz waited until three consecutive terrific performances to apologize for his silly comments that followed Jay Cutler’s week one press conference.  I’m not going to post his comments here but click the link to read the backtrack.
• Bears v. Bengals has been moved to 3:15 CT on October 25th and is now being affectionately referred to as “Benson Bowl”.  Now this is a rivalry I can get behind.  One day I hope someone from the defense admits that they injured Ced on purpose in practice.  If he goes over the century mark, somebody should get cut.
• It’s six o’clock in the morning and I’m watching the DVR’d debut of the UFL.  In Doug Flutie’s opening rationale of the league, he cited one player: J.P. Losman.  You’re going to need more than that to sell a professional football league in this country.
• Kordell Stewart is a UFL sideline broadcaster.  During his first sideline report, two players just walked right in front of him. (Jim Fassell is dressed like he’s going bowling.)

I hope none of you are using my picks for gambling purposes because they’ve been awful.  Another 1-2 last week, bringing my total to 4-7 on the year.  Three more comin’ at ya.  While I’m at it, I’ll weigh-in on some hot topics.

New England -3.5 over DENVER
I don’t know where I stand on the “protecting the quarterback” issue, which hit it’s 2009 peak in the Pats/Ravens game last week.  I hate the idea of babying these guys to the point of restricting defenders from any serious contact.  At the same time I agree with Mike Francesa’s belief that the game is simply horrible when the quarterbacks are no good.  (I believe we know that quite well.)  I think it’s an issue that’s easy to act manly about without considering a league the ramifications.  Patriots 27, Broncos 14   

ST. LOUIS +10 over Minnesota
Rush Limbaugh should be allowed to own anything he wants if he has the
money to do so.  I’ve never agreed with a word the man has said but
isn’t this still America?  Vikings 30, Rams 23

Atlanta +2.5 over SAN FRANCISCO
Let’s just hope that Samurai’s boys put a beaten on Atlanta.  49ers 14, Falcons 13

Neil Hayes writes a column comparing the initial impact of the Jay Cutler trade on both the Chicago Bears and Denver Broncos, essentially ruling it a draw.  It’s not a draw but that’s not a debate worth having with Hayes – who actually debates/contradicts himself about thirty times in the article.  (Can neither of these papers employ a guy with the capability of producing a well-written column?  I don’t mind disagreeing with opinion but bad writing is bad writing.)

A few things Neil Hayes needs to understand: (1) Josh McDaniels did not “seek a deal for a lesser talent” when he was attempting to attain Matt Cassel from the Patriots.  There is a consensus belief from everyone who left New England this past season that Matty’s the real deal, hence the $63 million contract.  (2) You can’t call something a draw and write, “Despite how comparable the numbers are, Cutler has been more responsible for Chicago’s success than Orton has been for Denver’s.”  THAT’S THE OPPOSITE OF A DRAW!

All of this is bullshit butter being spread on bullshit bread – the media’s desperate attempt to create animosity for a player who showed nothing but professionalism during his tenure with our club.  There is no rivalry between Jay Cutler and Kyle Orton and if folks want to forever link their careers, I’m afraid the Orton fans are going to be greatly disappointed.  Cutler wasn’t dealt straight up for another quarterback.  He was dealt for two first-round picks AND another quarterback.  It’s an important distinction.  If there is a rivalry to discuss, it’s between Cutler and McDaniels – an unproven coach who has begun his head coaching tenure the same way Eric Mangini did.  He’s winning against an easy schedule.

And remember this fact: the Bears do not acquire Jay Cutler without Kyle Orton.  The Redskins had a similar deal worked out for the star quarterback and Joshy McD chose Orton’s ability over the arm strength of Jason Campbell.  It was Orton’s consistency, his character, his ability to play within a system and his propensity to be safe/not turn the ball over that attracted McDaniels and it’s those traits that have supported the Broncos’ 4-0 start.  Orton isn’t responsible for the team’s wonderful opening but he knows if he doesn’t put his defense in tight spots, his team has a very good chance to win.

I remember Kyle Orton getting benched against Atlanta in 2005 during a game he was winning.  I remember him being demoted from ten wins to third string.  You know what else I remember?  No complaining.  No comments.  Just hard work and a ballplayer waiting for his chance.  He got his chance last season and that chance got the Chicago Bears Jay Cutler.   

To paraphrase the great Van Morrison, “Have I told you lately how much I hate goddamn bye weeks?”  Well I hate bye weeks, especially this early in the season.  I understand it comes at a perfect time for the ailing Bears but I was just getting into the flow and rhythm of my Sunday routine and here comes the NFL to put me on the bench.  It sucks. 

There’s a lot of things we know about this 2009 team (Cutler terrific, Forte steady) and many things we’re beginning to learn (Knox a developing star, pass rush improved).  But when I’m asked how good this team is my token response has become that there’s too much I don’t know.  Too much we can’t know after only four games.  Like what?  Like this…

Is Al Afalava any good?
Be honest, do you know?  Afalava became one of the stories of training camp and has been all-but-invisible in his starting role through the first four games.  No one’s written about him and I haven’t heard Lovie mention his name in a single post-game press conference.  Dan Pompei’s coaches’ tape analysis of the safeties opens with, “No impact plays here.”  The Bears haven’t been gashed by any long runs…so that’s good.

Can Orlando Pace block an elite pass rusher?
Bob Legere gets more specific: can he block Jared Allen?  There’s a lot of season ahead for Orlando and both Atlanta and Cincinnati – in the next two ballgames – pose very specific threats on the outside.  Most were concerned with his durability heading into the year but struggles against the speed of Aaron Curry left me wondering if this guy can still line up opposite a big-time end keep the blindside secure.  Until he does it, how do you know?

Can the Bears play a complete game?
They’ve yet to lead a game at the half and yet to lose a second half.  The defense gave up 21 first-half points to the Detroit Lions and they’ve given up 27 second-half points all season.  The offense struggles to get into a rhythm early and seems invincible with the game on the line late.  You just wonder how good this team can be if they show up for all four quarters.

I watched about seven minutes of the heinous ballgame between the Tampa Bay Bucs and Washington Redskins Sunday because I may or may not have had a wager on it.  (I did.  It was the lone ray of sunlight, outside of Chicago, in a dismally dark gambling day.)  My brother Jon argued it was the worst game played in the NFL in a long time.  From those seven minutes, I can’t disagree.  But one thing stuck out…

Why the hell is Ronde Barber still playing in Tampa Bay?  Monte’s gone.  Derrick’s gone.  Simeon and Warren are long gone.  Dexter’s in the UFL.  The heyday of the Bucs’ defense has shuffled into the NFL history books.  Ronde is no longer the elite corner he was half a decade ago but he can still field the hell out of the position.  So why is he still playing in Tampa?

I don’t care.  Ronde is the one of the best Cover-2 corners there’s ever been and the Bears aren’t leaving the Cover-2 in the near future.  By dumping a late-round pick, the Bears would invigorate a struggling secondary and add a necessary veteran presence.  Ronde, who is hating the Tampa media at the moment, would have to welcome the jump to a contender and relish the opportunity take one more run at a championship. 

I’m not trying to sound like a wacky sports radio call-in guy.  I know trades are complicated in the NFL.  The salary cap makes that a fact.  But this move makes too much sense for both sides for the Bears not to make an exploratory phone call.  Why would the Bucs, clearly rebuilding, shy away from dealing a veteran who won’t be around for the rebuilt?  Why wouldn’t the Bears, clearly needy at corner, think dealing a fourth rounder worth the services of a player this talented?

Will it happen?  Probably not.  Why?  Because it makes too much sense. 

The Minnesota Vikings have a quarterback who easily rests atop the list of America’s all-time greatest self-obsessed bullshit artists. (If you heard his “good Lord” nonsense in the post-game presser, you understand why he’s impossible to like.  If there is a God, he sure as hell doesn’t care about your completion percentage, Brett.) 

The Minnesota Vikings have a running back casually referred to as the game’s best, even while he continues a disturbing career trend of putting the ball on the ground. 

The Minnesota Vikings have a defense that, while loaded with talent, also possesses a stunning repertoire of celebratory dances.  These are not reserved for big plays either.  Every tackle earns a little Agnes de Mille.  And no one embodies “me-first” worst than Jared Allen.

The Vikings, almost overnight, have become about superstars and camera time.  They’ve become the most unlikable group of ballplayers in the league.  They’re the kind of team it is fun to chase for a division title.  And with Green Bay’s offensive line havoc, it looks like the race will be a two-horse one.

I like our horse.       
I like our quarterback who hates every second behind media
microphones.  The guy doesn’t need to run the length of a football field to
celebrate every touchdown in a desperate attempt to show how much fun
he’s having.  He’d prefer helicoptering his body into the end zone for game-tying touchdown.  (Still waiting for Mike Martz’ response to that play…) 

I like that we have one of the best running backs in the sport and he doesn’t seem to know it.  Or care.

I like that our receivers have shocked the football universe by performing like one of the league’s best units and not one of them has arrogantly shot their mouths off at the media and fans who doubted them daily.

I like our defense, who reserve celebratory dances for
celebration-worthy moments.  (Outside of AB’s gator chomp, I don’t
think we have a dance.)  The biggest star on the Chicago Bears’ roster
has a cast on his wrist but is proudly standing on the sideline, doing his best Mike Brown impression.

It’s night and day now in the NFC North.  Good and evil.  Sometimes sports come down to binaries as basic as that.  For the sake of everyone, I hope it plays out on the freezing night of December 28th in front of the Soldier Field faithful.  A classic battle in the finest arena.  I know what side I’ll be on.  The good side.

I’m fascinated by the number of post-weekend football columns written around the internet and reports on television with dumb, football-y type names.  Inside the Huddle, Monday Morning Quarterback, The Blitz,The Locker Room, Four Down Territory, Two-Minute Drill…etc.  It’s all very silly.  I was thinking about what I would use for my Tuesday bit and have narrowed down my Bears-related options: The Fullback Dive, Soft Coverage, Fistfight at the Gun Range and Audibles From the Long-Snapper. (I like the last one.)

Here’s three quickies…

Adewale Ogunleye is off to the best start of his career and there’s two reasons why: money and Marinelli.  Wale is a good player but he’s not worth a big-time defensive end contract at this point in his career.  I’d much rather see that money put into the secondary.

Lovie Smith expects a full-side against the Falcons in two weeks and that’s good news.  The league is beginning to sort itself out and the winner of this ballgame takes a big step toward the playoffs.

Vaughn McClure is reporting that the Bears won’t have AP for 2-to-3 weeks.  The Bears won’t go into that Sunday night with two running backs on the roster so expect some kind of move.